There are some stories you tell and some you don't. This is one
I'm telling because 1) its funny; 2) I'm not proud; 3) I have an earache, and;
4) its funny. I need to laugh today and there's a lesson here, so I'm
sharing in hopes that we both find a moment of hilarity and clarity in the
telling of this tale...
Ten years ago while Britt was still in law school and we lived in Watkinsville (about 15 minutes from the University of Georgia), I worked full-time in Athens at a real estate firm. At the time, I was in a supportive role to the daily clerical operations of the office. My 'office' was a cozy little cubical off of the 'Workroom', which was the hub in the huge company comprised of 100+ agents and 12-15 support staff. We housed all of our active and closed files here, as well as all supplies and resources. I was in charge of managing most of it. The reason why this is important is because my day was spent working, interacting, and chatting in this large room full of activity. Everyone in the entire business had business in that room. While a great deal of actual real estate happened in that space, we also enjoyed conversation. All kinds of people discussed all kinds of things.
One day, one of the agents (I honestly don't remember who) was talking about a 'natural remedy' for ear wax removal, which sounded intriguing.
[Disclaimer: If you're grossed out already you should stop reading now.]
Because I was young and green and stupid I thought, "Hey, that sounds interesting! I should try that!"
[Disclaimer: If you're still reading, congratulations! I'm about to tell you the story about the time I almost burned down my house.]
This 'remedy', as it were, was Ear Candling. If you're familiar you know that these were not-so-long ago debunked as an effective (and SAFE) method for removing ear wax. Ear candles were hollow foot-long candles made of beeswax. They had the circumference at the far end of a quarter. The tapered end went in your ear, and once lit, would draw up and out all excess wax. Because I was young and green and stupid, I bought into the idea and thought I should get me summa those. And so I did.
A store downtown sold these miraculous fire hazards and so during my lunch break not long after I struck out to buy a set. Imagine, if you will, Suzanne Sugarbaker walking into a hippie herb shop, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what this part of the story looked like. I love downtown Athens - it will always hold a special place in my heart - but I had no real business being in this particular store. I remember walking towards the back trying to look like I knew what I was doing and feeling slightly lightheaded. I wondered with innocence what those colorful glass bulbs could possibly be used for. Maybe they were oil lamps?
Anyway, I was SO excited to get home that day and try out these things. Never one to pass up a beauty trick (why I thought this qualified I'll never know), I was sure this was going to help rid me of all extra and unwanted ear wax. It's not like I had an issue here. I just probably wanted an excuse to buy something new and do something foolish. (I have a boring testimony but I've done my fair share of dumb stuff.)
Britt was home, and thank God for it. At that point he was nonplussed with the whole thing. I changed clothes, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and ripped open the stapled ziplocked bag. (I probably should have been concerned about the packaging, but I believed this to be legit, so, you know.)
The instructions said I should poke a hole in the center of a paper plate, which would serve as a shield of sorts. Red flag, much? We didn't have *paper* plates but we did have *styrofoam* plates. Same difference. Never mind the flammable Styrofoam – every bit of that was a good idea. I poked the hole and threaded the candle through. Next, I needed to lie on my side. Placing the tapered end in into my ear, I was to "create a seal", which basically meant I needed to shove it far enough into my ear that sound would be muffled. Remember this. Finally, I had to slide the plate all the way down so that it rested on the side of my head. To catch the ashes. Remember this, too.
So, we had high vaulted ceilings and knowing I was going to have to lie there until the candle BURNED DOWN TO THE PLATE, I thought I should cut on the ceiling fan. To cool myself. ‘Cause, you know, if you’re going to set the side of your head on fire you may as well not suffer.
At some point, lying there, I realized I wasn't physically able to light the open end of the candle myself so I just waited. And sure enough, in walked my unsuspecting husband. It was at this point that I uttered those three fateful redneck words that I never thought I'd say and have not said since...:
"Here. Light this."
I think - bless his heart - that he thought this whole thing would look ridiculous but be harmless in the long run. And so he did. He did light it. And he walked into the other room while I lay there hoping the heat was sucking up every crumb of unneeded auditory membrane.
Eventually, a few minutes later, I realized he was standing over me, horrified, mouthing something. I probably just looked up with some doofus grin because I COULDN'T HEAR HIM. He was pointing at my head and then frantically cut off the ceiling fan. I started to protest that he was ruining the experience and in the act dislodged the candle seal, causing the ashes on the plate to sprinkle off. Apparently the fan had contributed to a huge flame furiously burning inches from my head. The oxygen had caused the candle to burn muuuuch faster than I had expected, and the flame was super high.
Needless to say, I only candled one ear that night. It worked but it really wasn't worth it. The wax came out but it was gross and it made my ear ache and almost burned down our house. When I asked Britt tonight if he remembered THAT night, he looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Yes. How could I forget. As long as I live you won't do it again. That was harrowing."
This makes me laugh, and I need that tonight. I really DO have an earache but more than that, I have a heart ache. Tomorrow morning I return to part-time work and my sweet Reagan will be going into childcare. While this job and situation are so fantastic and I am so grateful, it's uncharted water for me. I'm trying to hear clearly the voice in my heart and not confuse it with the one in my head. My head is saying a lot, but my heart whispers Isaiah 41:10 - "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
At some point, there will be another post about motherhood. About working inside and outside of the home FOR the home. If you’re a mommy, regardless of where you work, you’re working and you get it. The struggle is real. I’ll only be a few hundred feet from my sweet girl during my abbreviated work day (which is at our wonderful church, by the way), and I’ll get to visit her and nurse her and cuddle her and love on her. It’s ideal, and a blessing and I’m grateful. I am.
Ten years ago while Britt was still in law school and we lived in Watkinsville (about 15 minutes from the University of Georgia), I worked full-time in Athens at a real estate firm. At the time, I was in a supportive role to the daily clerical operations of the office. My 'office' was a cozy little cubical off of the 'Workroom', which was the hub in the huge company comprised of 100+ agents and 12-15 support staff. We housed all of our active and closed files here, as well as all supplies and resources. I was in charge of managing most of it. The reason why this is important is because my day was spent working, interacting, and chatting in this large room full of activity. Everyone in the entire business had business in that room. While a great deal of actual real estate happened in that space, we also enjoyed conversation. All kinds of people discussed all kinds of things.
One day, one of the agents (I honestly don't remember who) was talking about a 'natural remedy' for ear wax removal, which sounded intriguing.
[Disclaimer: If you're grossed out already you should stop reading now.]
Because I was young and green and stupid I thought, "Hey, that sounds interesting! I should try that!"
[Disclaimer: If you're still reading, congratulations! I'm about to tell you the story about the time I almost burned down my house.]
This 'remedy', as it were, was Ear Candling. If you're familiar you know that these were not-so-long ago debunked as an effective (and SAFE) method for removing ear wax. Ear candles were hollow foot-long candles made of beeswax. They had the circumference at the far end of a quarter. The tapered end went in your ear, and once lit, would draw up and out all excess wax. Because I was young and green and stupid, I bought into the idea and thought I should get me summa those. And so I did.
A store downtown sold these miraculous fire hazards and so during my lunch break not long after I struck out to buy a set. Imagine, if you will, Suzanne Sugarbaker walking into a hippie herb shop, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what this part of the story looked like. I love downtown Athens - it will always hold a special place in my heart - but I had no real business being in this particular store. I remember walking towards the back trying to look like I knew what I was doing and feeling slightly lightheaded. I wondered with innocence what those colorful glass bulbs could possibly be used for. Maybe they were oil lamps?
Anyway, I was SO excited to get home that day and try out these things. Never one to pass up a beauty trick (why I thought this qualified I'll never know), I was sure this was going to help rid me of all extra and unwanted ear wax. It's not like I had an issue here. I just probably wanted an excuse to buy something new and do something foolish. (I have a boring testimony but I've done my fair share of dumb stuff.)
Britt was home, and thank God for it. At that point he was nonplussed with the whole thing. I changed clothes, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and ripped open the stapled ziplocked bag. (I probably should have been concerned about the packaging, but I believed this to be legit, so, you know.)
The instructions said I should poke a hole in the center of a paper plate, which would serve as a shield of sorts. Red flag, much? We didn't have *paper* plates but we did have *styrofoam* plates. Same difference. Never mind the flammable Styrofoam – every bit of that was a good idea. I poked the hole and threaded the candle through. Next, I needed to lie on my side. Placing the tapered end in into my ear, I was to "create a seal", which basically meant I needed to shove it far enough into my ear that sound would be muffled. Remember this. Finally, I had to slide the plate all the way down so that it rested on the side of my head. To catch the ashes. Remember this, too.
So, we had high vaulted ceilings and knowing I was going to have to lie there until the candle BURNED DOWN TO THE PLATE, I thought I should cut on the ceiling fan. To cool myself. ‘Cause, you know, if you’re going to set the side of your head on fire you may as well not suffer.
At some point, lying there, I realized I wasn't physically able to light the open end of the candle myself so I just waited. And sure enough, in walked my unsuspecting husband. It was at this point that I uttered those three fateful redneck words that I never thought I'd say and have not said since...:
"Here. Light this."
I think - bless his heart - that he thought this whole thing would look ridiculous but be harmless in the long run. And so he did. He did light it. And he walked into the other room while I lay there hoping the heat was sucking up every crumb of unneeded auditory membrane.
Eventually, a few minutes later, I realized he was standing over me, horrified, mouthing something. I probably just looked up with some doofus grin because I COULDN'T HEAR HIM. He was pointing at my head and then frantically cut off the ceiling fan. I started to protest that he was ruining the experience and in the act dislodged the candle seal, causing the ashes on the plate to sprinkle off. Apparently the fan had contributed to a huge flame furiously burning inches from my head. The oxygen had caused the candle to burn muuuuch faster than I had expected, and the flame was super high.
Needless to say, I only candled one ear that night. It worked but it really wasn't worth it. The wax came out but it was gross and it made my ear ache and almost burned down our house. When I asked Britt tonight if he remembered THAT night, he looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Yes. How could I forget. As long as I live you won't do it again. That was harrowing."
This makes me laugh, and I need that tonight. I really DO have an earache but more than that, I have a heart ache. Tomorrow morning I return to part-time work and my sweet Reagan will be going into childcare. While this job and situation are so fantastic and I am so grateful, it's uncharted water for me. I'm trying to hear clearly the voice in my heart and not confuse it with the one in my head. My head is saying a lot, but my heart whispers Isaiah 41:10 - "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
At some point, there will be another post about motherhood. About working inside and outside of the home FOR the home. If you’re a mommy, regardless of where you work, you’re working and you get it. The struggle is real. I’ll only be a few hundred feet from my sweet girl during my abbreviated work day (which is at our wonderful church, by the way), and I’ll get to visit her and nurse her and cuddle her and love on her. It’s ideal, and a blessing and I’m grateful. I am.
It will be so hard tomorrow to start this transition into a new
motherhood experience, but I know I have a loving husband, a darling 6 year old
who prayed specifically for mommy “to not be worried or sad tomorrow”, and
precious friends and family around me that are supportive. I’m not the first mommy to do this, and I won’t
be the last. So I’m going to try and
listen through the ear ache and wax to that still small voice that can be heard
in the quiet of my heart. The Lord will
help me. I don’t have to be worried and
I certainly don’t need to be afraid. And
Reagan will be okay.
As long as she doesn’t grow up any tomorrow, I’ll be okay, too.
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I mean.
You are awesome! Praying for you today! :-)
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